by Quinn E.

Ok, strip clubs are really, really not my thing. I'd never go to a strip club where I live now, because I suspect the women would have high hair and fake boobs and smell like the Bath Body Works. But not the girls at Union Jack's. They're like girls I'd know in real life. Which is really weird to me. I don't really want to see my friends shake their cooches at me. But they weren't really my friends so I came back a few times. The dancers were cool, maybe they just wanted my money or maybe they were stoked that a group of dykes were hanging out there and we were less likely to be all gross at them. Either way. They were hot, that's for sure. Tattoos, piercings, cool hair. I mean, they still wear those weird-ass stripper shoes, but the rest is rather unique. Although, I did get pretty depressed when a girl stripped to How Soon is Now by the Smiths. Seriously. I'm too sensitive for strip clubs. But if you can disassociate a little better than me, like to look at hip girls and like some loud rock music, you'll dig this place. The drinks are cheap, but bring lots of singles so you're not the asshole who doesn't tip the dancers.

by Carl G.

Nice nekkid bar with talented dancers, decent beer prices and no sleaze. I come here every time I'm in Portland. Because I'm a Neandertal.

by Marc S.

Upon arrival when visiting some friends, was whisked away immediately to this place for some $2 Pabst (if you drink another beer it will be taken as a sign that you are too snooty) and some amateur stripping.  $3 cover to get in.  Nude women in bars in Portland are like that Golden Tee golf game in bars in SF: they are everywhere and they are sort of just a side attraction to the main activity which is savoring your Pabst.   A little too many piercings and tats on the girls for my taste, but I commend their athleticsm and timing.  No hard sells for back room action at this place which is nice and I was told also is the law.  Smoking galore in this town was annoying and also the law.  Got some shots of cheap tequilla that I am fairly sure were watered down because they did not revolt me enough.  Not enough help at the bar so the line took too long a lot of the time.  Oh, and I just found this on another bar rating site.  Classy!Ladies may enroll in CeeCee's pole dancing instructional classes (Th, Fri 12-2:30pm, $10).

by Sara E.

Ahhhh, Union Jack's, how I love thee.  The super-tall pole, the hot punk strippers who are actually talented dancers, the swanky mirrored decor.... Watching these girls spin down the extra tall pole and then stop themselves just by squeezing their thighs is impressive to say the least.  Plus, last time I was there a girl did a Michael Jackson act to Billie Jean, complete with awesome choreography, leisure suit, one glove, and a white hat.  I'm glad I don't live in Portland, because I'd spend my entire income in $1 bills at places like this.

by Danielle R.

So last Friday my honey and I got a sitter and went out on the town drinkin' like the old days.  Two bars and five drinks later, I find myself at Union Jacks in a cushy booth snuggling with my man, cold beer in hand. I have to mention that this was the first strip club I've set foot in and it was definitely more comfortable and entertaining than I thought it was going to be.  A few of the girls had great bodies and put on quite the acrobatic routine on that extremely high pole - some, not so much, but all in all it turned out to be one very fun evening. I'd have to recommend visiting if you're in the mood for something a little risque.

by Tanner H.

Only strip club that I ever really went to much in Portland.  The girls are hot for the most part.  The music and service are solid.It would have gotten 5 stars, but they stopped renting out hookahs in the bar!

by Carissa w.

In Portland, strip clubs are just another type of bar, but some are more female/couple friendly than others. Union Jacks often has a cover, but the drinks are cheap. Sometimes they're weak too, and the bar lines can get long, but it's a nice stop over late night after a show at the Doug Fir down the block. What makes Union Jacks stand out from the rest is the pole--the biggest I've ever seen--which the girls frequently climb to the top of, flip over, and slide back down. I thought someone was going to get a concussion, but it's fun to see acrobatics. A friend of mine commented that the girls were, "like ninjas!".Good for groups, the booths at the back stage are best. Featuring a variety of Portland hipster girls with tattoos and individual style, they choose their own songs and sometimes play local indie music. It's nice to see some personal style and short hair, and sometimes bigger girls. In true Portland style, there was even a girl stripping to The Blow remix!

by Janessa P.

They have great... french fries. Mmmmmmm. Hot and fresh and... um, fried.

by Dave L.

Have heard good things about Union Jack's so decided to check it out on a Saturday night with the wife and a friend of hers. The 3 of us found a table near the main stage and enjoyed the many talented ladies. These gals are truly artists, they can dance and work magic on that very tall pole.  The gals were all very friendly, as a matter of fact one came over and sat on my wifes lap and introduced herself. The staff was all very attentive, keeping tables bussed and things moving along good. Great DJ that plays great music and very entertaining. The drinks were reasonably priced though a little on the weak side.Great place to spend an evening, relaxing and enjoying the great acrobatics.

by Kat G.

I have been to many strip clubs in LA and a couple in Washington.  One could say more than my fair share considering I'm a hetero female. Pretty much all of them sucked as they weren't women friendly and didn't offer full bar or in some cases any alchohol at all.  Plus the girls have tended to be scar, silicone barbie or some combination thereof.When I was first introduced to Union Jack's 4 years ago when I was living in PDX, I totally loved it.  The girls were all sporting Suicide girl looks and did things like old fashioned burlesque or fire (!) dancing and most of them could work the pole in ways that made me drop my jaw.  It was filled with all sorts of people and was very women friendly.  I loved it so much I would recommend it to anyone as cique du Soleil with full bar and full nudity. Things seem to have changed.  I went there this past weekend with a bunch of friends from my new hometown of Seattle and while it still beats Washington strip clubs hands down it is no longer as super fabulous as I remember and certainly not the 5 stars I was expecting to give.Minus 1 star for the fact that only 3 girls could rock the pole and only 2 girls on shift were Suicide Girls types.  The rest were good looking enough but just generic stripper types and seemed to limit their dancing to posing and slapping their own butts(what's up with that?)Minus 1/2 for the 2-3 month pregnant girl dancing her last night.  That was squicky but I'm only taking off 1/2 because my group had some seriously hilarious fun making "Don't shake the baby!" jokes every time she came on stage(yes, I know that I'm going to Hell, I have my condo on the lake of fire all picked out)Minus 1/2 for the fratastic crowd that we had to put up with until later in the evening and the fact that the area by the main stage is crowded and annoying because some of the seats have been cordened off for lap dancing.All in all it's still the best strip club I've been to and totally worth the $5 cover we had to pay but it is less cool than it used to be.

by Osiris N.

Well, I used to give my boyfriend serious shit when he would drive down to Portland to skate and he'd make a pit stop at the Union Jack's. It used to piss me off pretty bad. He kept on telling me that it wasn't that kind of strip club, bla, bla, bla. And I used to be a waitress at Sugars, so I had a pretty good idea on how sleazy these joints could be.Anyway, so I took a little road trip to Portland a couple weeks ago and decided to check this place out. I was with a few of my friends and we were all a little curious. After all, the strip clubs in Seattle suck...they don't serve food, they don't serve alcohol, etc. Upon arrival I was smitten! It was so divey and dingy and packed with both men and women. Boyfriends with their girlfriends. Girlfriends with their girlfriends. It was sooo much fun. The drinks  were cheap and they had some snacks on the menu that weren't too shabby either.My favorite part about this place was the strippers! They were so fun to watch because they were very talented and skilled. Most strippers I've seen (and I've seen a lot) are lame. They go on stage and shake their ass, rub their tits...the end. Nothing exciting. But these girls were awesome. They did the most amazing pole tricks and they really looked like they enjoyed working there.Most strippers tend to be a little aggressive and pester customers for dances, but they just walked around and waited for people to come up to them for a dance.Anyway, I want to go back to see some more awesome moves.

by Leslie C.

I'm giving this club one star because I'm appalled at how they treat their dancers.My friend danced here one night, and one of the rowdy patrons HIT her. She tried to report it to the bouncer, who refused to kick the patron out. The bartender just said "There's nothing I can do!" Who does that?!So ladies, for your safety, I don't recommend dancing here. Go somewhere where the club will actually protect you if a patron gets violent with you. And for customers, go patronize another business because this one obviously doesn't think that its dancers are people whose lives are worth looking at for.

by Clare M.

There is a small part of me that is like "really, you are going to write a review about a strip club?"  I have to though.  My boyfriend likes strip clubs, and I feel as though I should should be offended that he likes to go and watch half naked girls dance, but in all honesty, I have a lot of fun going too, so we get to spend quality time together...with a little naked stranger involved.  We've been to many strip clubs in Portland, we have some great ones, but I have only been to Union Jacks twice and both times made me never want to go back.Trip #1.  It's a Saturday night, and the club is packed, literally packed.  All the seats are taken and standing room is even pretty slim.  I'm a girl who likes to sit at the rack.  I'm a girl who will even flirt a little with the girls at the rack if it means they might be able to get some extra tips from the guys sitting around us.  I also leave good amounts of money at the rack.  I leave money no matter what, pole tricks do get the girls a little extra though only because there is a little part of me that wishes I could do them too.  So a seat opens up at the rack and my boyfriend swoops in.  I of course want to get in on the action so I scoot in and sit on his lap.  We start throwing money on the rack, having a good old time, when the music stops and over the loud speaker, the dj lets me know that if I do not get out of his lap, I will be kicked out of the club.  The club is all quiet, I feel awkward, and we leave the rack.  I wasn't trying to take business from them, I was trying to give them business.  The girl didn't feel threatened, we were both giving her money, but we moved away from the rack and because of it left less money for the girls because we couldn't even see the stage.Trip #2.  My same wonderful boyfriend and I are bar hopping through SE with a good friend and decide to give it another go.  My boy has bad allergies, and in the Portland summers it can leave his eyes looking a little red and weary.  We had been drinking yes, but rolled into the club maybe three or four drinks in, not quite drunk.  There is a cover, so we stop at the door and proceed to pay.  The bouncer takes a look at him and exclaims that he is too drunk to come inside.  We are more confused at this point, partially because it is early and no one is inside the strip club yet, and even more so because he wasn't drunk.  I eventually talk him into letting us in, but again, more awkwardness then needed.They have some great girls, who really know their stuff, but it seems like they try to drive business away from people who like strip clubs and want to enjoy themselves at them.

by Lauren G.

Union Jack's feels evil to me. And I'm not certain why.The staff's really cool and nice. The female announcer chick is super cool and makes people clap, which I love. And the pole is super high and fun.So what's my problem? Maybe it's the lighting. Maybe it's because it reminds me of the russian mob.  Maybe it's because I became intoxicated here once and got lost (lost? really? it's one big room...) and then walked into a lapdance room by accident.Clearly I'm in the minority though, so enjoy!

by mel r.

I've been to a fair amount of clubs in my time. So Cal, Las Vegas, being the tops for quality 'Barbie' plastic girls. I have to say though, Portland, is by FAR my favorite place to watch the poles get slimed. The girls out here are just...real. Well, my type of real; tattooed, curvy, not a lot of silicone and raunchy. SOLD! Union is such a place that displays these types. When you walk in, you're accosted by neon and vagina at eye level from the small stage on the right. As you nudge, push, elbow-"hey Captain FF, I'm not a dancer but my size 9 stilettos are going up your brown eye if you don't get your hand off my derriere!" your way to the back, larger stage; you'll notice curtained areas for lap dances. AHHH yes, lap dances; the favorite past time for unrequited desires, blue balls, possible naughty play, and the occasional "ahhh-yeah!!oh shit!" inside your pants. Did I mention, behind closed curtains? The girls I saw on my double night o-fun, had enough ink to cover Butterbean, were talented with the pole, the crowd and their bodies. This place has a cover, so it's nice knowing someone with a lifetime VIP pass (I don't even wanna know who's clam got licked for that one) to get you in on the fly.

by Boutros G.

The minuses from our Sat night trip: 300 sideways-capped douchebags; absolutely nowhere to sit or even stand out of the way; drinks $1-2 more expensive than elsewhere, and a 10 minute wait time to order them.  My friend said someone spilled a bunch of coke on the floor of the ladies' room when she was in there (this might belong in the 'pluses' depending on the reader).The pluses: The girls.  Compared to the average fare here in pdx, the women here are knockouts.  Several Suicide Girl types if that's your thing (it's mine) and more normie types who somehow manage to look just as good despite a paucity of tattoos and eyeliner.  They all knew how to use the pole and they even pretended they were having fun, which I appreciated.  The music was on the edgier end of pop - Prodigy, NIN, etc.  I'll definitely go back on an off-night when the douchebag ratio is lower.

by Andrew C.

Eastern Canadians call strip clubs, "Peelers".That's hilarious.They also pronounce "whores" like this -- Who-errs (1)(2)(1) I am in no way labling exotic dancers as whores. In fact, I fall in love with them quickly and would like to take one on a picnic at the coast.(2) Just shedding light on things Canadians say differently than us. Funny, funny Canadians.

by The Skipper M.

There once was a bar called "The Jack"Where for a buck you could check out a rackThe lasses were all fairThey had long shiny hairAnd ink from their necks to their crack.

by Aleksandra K.

I recently patronized Union Jack's and was delighted by the ample seating, excellent bouncers, strong drinks and most important: yummy ass talent.We went around 10 PM on a Sunday night, which might be the reason behind it not being overly crowded, but I was pleased and will definitely go back. I stumbled upon a few douche factories, but they were briskly removed from my path by the attentive bouncers, who could obviously see that all I was trying to do was enjoy the view. NO ONE stands in my way when I'm feasting my eyes on a plump booty and two luscious mounds! NO ONE!!!Jack invited me back, and I accepted.

by Hollyanna M.

I know I'm in the minority. But Union Jack's? Do not want. I know better than to go to a strip club at 11:30 on a Saturday night, but everyone seemed so keen on it after our Galaxy karaoke adventure, so off we went.Now, I've been to countless strip clubs over the years and I love the whole Suicide Girls-esque thing the girls have going on here. So what was the problem? That's just it, I don't know. I felt unwelcome and uncomfortable. Maybe it was the lighting. Maybe it was the fact that there was no where to sit. Ninety percent of the people in there were clearly not there to watch the girls dance. Most of them never even looked at the stage except for an occasional glance to see who was up there. One guy who had his back to the table was at least tossing some money up every now and then, but come on!Maybe what I didn't like was the fact that indifference seemed to be an attractive quality amongst the dancers and the staff. I don't know. It was just...eh.

by kenny h.

The two Douche Bags that likely just turned 21 planting themselves in front of our table by the stage...THE WHOLE TWO SHOWS by some nice looking women ...as I was at a table...that was (very) annoying. The girl who pretended to be our friend...some kind of host I assume(?) at the bar getting us drinks quicker than on our own...that had a hissy fit when we wanted some $1's after giving her a $5 tip...she was a fricken joke. However, there was a couple really lovely girls. They were not all faked out, suffering from vommit diet, or fake titted out. Well...one blond had the FAKEST laugh ever and gave a somewhat lack luster lap dance (provided by my co-herts via bachelor party fun). $2-3 charge to get in was OK.  Not a strip bar guy...really was a "gotta have the Bachelor Party experience"...and while I liked this place MUCH better than the "Cabaret" joint we went to 1st (girl shafted 2 friends of mine for $50 lap dance there!...and she smelled like dirty Vag too boot!)So I guess "comparably"...if I was to go to strip bars "again", YES....I would go back here.  Just keep me FAR away from "Cabaret". Union Jacks was clean. The music was pretty good. The tables were nice to sit at. The bouncers are not all over your shit. A lap dance is $20 here. Decent.

by Damon J.

Good prices, fast bartenders and I really like the layout of this place. If I lived in Portland I'd live at Union Jack's.

by Jodi C.

Whoa. That bouncer is one mean-lookin' mofo. I certainly wouldn't mess with his muffins. Or his dancers. But really, I think deep down, underneath all of that Russian muscle, he's just a big old teddy bear. He certainly acted like one when I returned last night, a damsel in distress, looking for my lost wallet. A friend nudged at stopping in here after the Yelp event last night. i'd heard good things about it, but had never been. So why not?I was surprised by how small it is. For some reason, I thought it'd be wel-lit with five stages and dancers gallore. But it, like its dancers, is pretty petite. Before I noticed the size of the joint, I was flustered by the black-lighting, and slightly embarassed by all of the lint obnoxiously glowing on my blouse. I had to squint when looking at my friend, since her white flowered dress was lit up like a fat man in a donut factory. Note to self: wear dark clothing to Union Jacks.The bartender was friendly and quick to serve. And the drinks were surprisingly affordable for a strip club, though also on the weaker side. They have some talented girls working here, and some mediocre ones; One stage with a tall pole (that was well utilized) and one stage without a pole.The food prices were affordable, though I didn't eat anything. If you have a phobia of mirrors, brace yourself before entering the women's room. It's virtually completely mirrored. the walls, the bathroom stall. Everything. Trippy...All in all, not too shabby. I gave it four stars for the friendly staff and the affordable drinkage.

by Dana S.

Are all you reviewers bros with Gotti haircuts? This place sucks ass.There are lots of things I can say about this place (horrible layout, assholes standing in front of you, fake ass titties), but perhaps the most annoying is the lighting. You can't see shit with the erratic, flashing strobe lights and that obnoxious black light. Like, we're there to see girls, not to fly into a seizure and/or squint in the hopes of maaaybe catching a glimpse of neon bits.

by Moxie V.

Union Jacks is not a strip club.  Its a magical portal where ones every senses are stimulated by lights, smells, tastes, atmosphere and oh yes boobies.  Heres the deal though, the girls are such masters of the naked dance craft that you almost forget they are sans le cloth.  All of the girls are beautiful and unique in that special Portland Suicide Girl-esque way and all are amazingly talented and can bend in ways that would make Gumby try to wiggle his fist/hand in jealousy.  The ladies are also friendly and charming.  If you frequent the muff caverns you will know this to be as rare as toilet seat covers in the bathroom (which UJs also has!).  I take everyone I can to Union Jacks.  I recommend it for every 21st birthday.  I occasionally hit it on a 1st date.  Sometimes I take friends from out of town.  Sometimes I go with friends from in town.  Sometimes I go on holidays.  Ive known the glory of UJs for a decade and I can say: There is always room for Union Jacks.Other unexpected perk(ies)s: if you do leave your wallet or id at UJ's the owner personally takes them with him to ensure their safety and will personally return your frantic call the next day and calm you with soothing plans to meet you and return your property.  And the bathrooms are NOT SCARY.  Where else could you possibly say that about a titty tavern?  Also, everyone behaves.  Please see the guy who checks ID at the door if you question this.Thank you Union Jacks.  Thank you for just being you in all your glitter covered jasmine scented lotion glory.

by Jana S.

This is one of the best strip clubs ever! The girls are crazy talented. I mean, personally, I would fall off the pole in a second. But this is not your ordinary pole work. We are talking about contorting yourself in ways unimaginable, around a pole that is tall as hell! Also, the girls are hot. Awesome hair, crazy tats, and everything else. ;)The thing that sucks a bit is that it takes forever to get a drink (there are no servers) and they are really overpriced. Obviously, we expect to pay more in strip clubs, but these are pretty stiff prices for weak drinks. Overall, it is totally worth it to pay for overpriced drinks to see these beautiful girls..

by James M.

For a strip joint, this place is fucking fantastic!!! I stumbled in on my way home from some previous debachery and thought, having just moved here, fuck it, might as well go in and get this over with. So I walked my 80's Metal dressed self into the club. I was awed. It's like vegas on the inside and completely CLEAN!!! The bathrooms were nice and pretty clean, the beer wasn't too highly priced (2.50 for a PBR) and all the girls were pretty nice and cool to me so I had a really great time. Not sure if they serve food, but that would make the place even better if they do. I probably won't go there again cause strip clubs aren't really my thing, but if I frequented them, this would definately be my top choice! Rock on Union Jack, rock on.

by James M.

For a strip joint, this place is fucking fantastic!!! I stumbled in on my way home from some previous debachery and thought, having just moved here, fuck it, might as well go in and get this over with. So I walked my 80's Metal dressed self into the club. I was awed. It's like vegas on the inside and completely CLEAN!!! The bathrooms were nice and pretty clean, the beer wasn't too highly priced (2.50 for a PBR) and all the girls were pretty nice and cool to me so I had a really great time. Not sure if they serve food, but that would make the place even better if they do. I probably won't go there again cause strip clubs aren't really my thing, but if I frequented them, this would definately be my top choice! Rock on Union Jack, rock on.

by James M.Jana S.Moxie V.Dana S.

For a strip joint, this place is fucking fantastic!!! I stumbled in on my way home from some previous debachery and thought, having just moved here, fuck it, might as well go in and get this over with. So I walked my 80's Metal dressed self into the club. I was awed. It's like vegas on the inside and completely CLEAN!!! The bathrooms were nice and pretty clean, the beer wasn't too highly priced (2.50 for a PBR) and all the girls were pretty nice and cool to me so I had a really great time. Not sure if they serve food, but that would make the place even better if they do. I probably won't go there again cause strip clubs aren't really my thing, but if I frequented them, this would definately be my top choice! Rock on Union Jack, rock on.This is one of the best strip clubs ever! The girls are crazy talented. I mean, personally, I would fall off the pole in a second. But this is not your ordinary pole work. We are talking about contorting yourself in ways unimaginable, around a pole that is tall as hell! Also, the girls are hot. Awesome hair, crazy tats, and everything else. ;)The thing that sucks a bit is that it takes forever to get a drink (there are no servers) and they are really overpriced. Obviously, we expect to pay more in strip clubs, but these are pretty stiff prices for weak drinks. Overall, it is totally worth it to pay for overpriced drinks to see these beautiful girls..Union Jacks is not a strip club.  Its a magical portal where ones every senses are stimulated by lights, smells, tastes, atmosphere and oh yes boobies.  Heres the deal though, the girls are such masters of the naked dance craft that you almost forget they are sans le cloth.  All of the girls are beautiful and unique in that special Portland Suicide Girl-esque way and all are amazingly talented and can bend in ways that would make Gumby try to wiggle his fist/hand in jealousy.  The ladies are also friendly and charming.  If you frequent the muff caverns you will know this to be as rare as toilet seat covers in the bathroom (which UJs also has!).  I take everyone I can to Union Jacks.  I recommend it for every 21st birthday.  I occasionally hit it on a 1st date.  Sometimes I take friends from out of town.  Sometimes I go with friends from in town.  Sometimes I go on holidays.  Ive known the glory of UJs for a decade and I can say: There is always room for Union Jacks.Other unexpected perk(ies)s: if you do leave your wallet or id at UJ's the owner personally takes them with him to ensure their safety and will personally return your frantic call the next day and calm you with soothing plans to meet you and return your property.  And the bathrooms are NOT SCARY.  Where else could you possibly say that about a titty tavern?  Also, everyone behaves.  Please see the guy who checks ID at the door if you question this.Thank you Union Jacks.  Thank you for just being you in all your glitter covered jasmine scented lotion glory.Are all you reviewers bros with Gotti haircuts? This place sucks ass.There are lots of things I can say about this place (horrible layout, assholes standing in front of you, fake ass titties), but perhaps the most annoying is the lighting. You can't see shit with the erratic, flashing strobe lights and that obnoxious black light. Like, we're there to see girls, not to fly into a seizure and/or squint in the hopes of maaaybe catching a glimpse of neon bits.