Piratz Tavern

by Alex B.

This is interesting...unlike apparently everybody, I actually enjoyed my experience here.The -1 star goes for the ambiguity upon arrival.  We arrived, and assumed somebody would seat us.  It did take a little bit for someone to come up (and a bit of awkward "do we just sit?"), but we were sat within a few minutes.However, my complaints basically end there.  Our waitress, Poppet (mentioned in another review here), was fantastic, and very fun to talk to and joke with.  Sodas have free refills, the bread was _amazing_ (and the butter is kept under the fresh, warm bread, so the butter isn't rock-hard like most restaurants), the Thai mussels appetizer was actually spicy, and the entrees were quite good.  I had the Mahi Mahi (Catch of the Day), which was good, and my friends ordered Steak on a Stone, which is basically a steak cooked just under what you wanted, and then you finish cooking it at the table to your own taste (Poppet's advice: "The stone is not your friend.  Do not touch the stone, do not smell the stone, do not lick the stone.").We had the Passionfruit Mousse for dessert, which, while not the greatest mousse ever, was good.Could a few things be improved on?  Yes.  But it was a good experience, good service, and pretty good food.

by Nicole M.

Despite a collection of less-than-rave reviews, my friends and I hung out at Piratz recently and had a great time.  We didn't eat, so I can't comment on the food, but our waitress (Poppet) was helpful and quick despite being extremely busy, the mixed drinks were good, and the shots were generous.    The bawdy pirate songs sung by half-drunk waitstaff were an added bonus.

by Eva W.

I really would love to like this place. It has a cheesy pirate theme, and I'm a sucker for cheesy theme places. It's a few blocks from where I work, so it seems like it would be a great place to celebrate a birthday with coworkers. And the menu has a great variety.The good: I've always had good food here, tasty, interesting, and well presented. I particularly like their soups.The bad: everything else. I can see where the service would be bad if you came in at 7:30 on a Friday night and the place was packed. I've never done that. We went in for Mother's Day (dressed like ninjas, at my insistence). We were the only ones there. Our waiter "Fast Fingers" was fun but the service was VERY slow. Slow as in 45 minutes for a cup of coffee slow. But I figured, hey, maybe they were just having an off day. Who goes to a pirate restaurant for Mother's Day? Talk Like A Pirate Day, yes, but Mom's day?So I went back. There are 4 of us on our floor with the same birthday. For our birthday we went there with several coworkers. The restaurant had about a dozen other people in it. And it was sssssslllloooowwwww. OK, maybe third time's a charm. Our department decided to have a lunch meeting there. It was a gorgeous day so we asked to be seated on the patio. Again, good food, bad service. We got the impression they had recently hired our waiter, and then went off to run errands, leaving her no supervision.I'd be willing to give it a 4th chance but I can't get  anyone to go with me. Which is a shame, because it's a fun theme, with a lot of attention to detail. But they must have hired wait staff who failed to make the cut at the Paper Moon Diner in Baltimore (another good-looking, bad service restaurant). It's a shame, this place is situated to be a big success, but when they go out of business, they'll blame the economy. I'll be sad to lose this place, and I hope they can fix their staffing problems and turn this place around.

by Jarrett B.Paul M.Zachary H.Semra E.Lauren J.

Look, let's be honest.  I just moved to Silver Spring, so the novelty of this place hasn't worn off for me yet.  I'm still not entirely sure what grog is....and I'm also still not sure what makes the top shelf grog different....but, I can tell you this:  It's pretty delicious and one glass is all it takes to get you buzzed.I can also tell you this:  Two pitchers of grog is MORE than enough for a 6 person party.  Especially if three of those people end up not drinking anything at all and the rest of us end up polishing off all of that spicy rum mix just to end up taking pro-bono shots with the regulars on a week night....ESPECIALLY if that is all supplemented by some tasty shot squirted into your mouth from a syringe by a waitress dressed in full renaissance faire-eque pirate garb.  (Garrrrrb?)  Finally, just bear in mind that the only way to realistically function the next morning after a Piratz Tavern grogfest is to stumble across the street and eat a heap of delicious Quarry House tater tots.(Just writing this review makes me feel hungover.)Soccerballgirl loved this place and now she wants Captain Jack Sparrow to come to her sixth birthday party . But if he can't make it our marvellous server Poppet - will do instead.An absolutely brilliant night out with the kids - although Thing 1 and Thing 2 got a bit embarrassed after their grogged-up Dad started yelling " Ahoy me maties"  at everyone.The food is just OK - but the drinks are spectacular, and the happy hour specials amazing. But you come here for the staff.  The wait staff are all dressed up , they have a historian who tells you all sorts of pirate stories, and then a band who sing sea shanties for tips. They amp up the volume for Halloween. If you have a rowdy group, a bunch of kids, or want to stretch your wallet, I would totally recommend this place.Ok. A Pirate Bar in Silver Spring? My initial reaction was "AWESOME! A pirate themed dive bar??!! Not my thing, but sounds interesting!" .... Then I went there. This place could be great, but it isn't. I'm torn on whether my disappointment is based on the extremely tacky decor (not in a cool-pirate-bar-sort-of-way, but more "Pirates of the Caribbean") or the mediocre food (there are far better places to eat seafood in Silver Spring. Don't eat it here), but I just don't get it. I will say that the staff I have encountered on my two visits (I gave the place an ill-fated second chance) have been friendly and there are some decent happy hour specials. Perhaps if I walked around with an eye patch and a saber on a more regular basis, I would enjoy this bar more. "AAAARRRR Matey" is in my vernacular and neither is Piratz Bar.I used to work walking distance to this place, and decided to go with coworkers on "Talk Like A Pirate" Day...(yes there's a day that's dedicated to pirates). Now when I first saw the inside, I thought it was a pretty cool theme to have, especially if you have kids. But I didn't see kids, I saw a lot of adults that reminded me of that guy from Dodge Ball that thought he was a pirate. The food was OK, not the best, but I was so starving and it was already awkward with the coworkers I was with, so I felt like I was about to have a Larry David moment or something with how everything unfolded....a guy came inside to get lunch that was dressed like a pirate, started talking all "pirate-like" and sat by himself at a table....I thought this guy was early to work or something, but then he left. Turns out there ARE pirates that are roaming the streets of Silver Spring, MD....neeerd aleeeerrrrt!!!! It's fun to take friends there that you feel would benefit from judging others....but that may cause tension and a pirate style bar fight and I don't carry my camera around enough to really benefit from a scene like that. So I'm X-nay-on-the-Pirate-aye.....I'm really bad at Pig LatinExcellent service, great atmosphere, reasonably priced food, grog is tasty. We saw both a fire show and a samba show during our visit, both impromptu and free. The "pirate" waiters and bartenders really get into it and would love to see you come in costume if you want, but no costumes required. Will be back definitely!Also, 2 full bars, one indoor, one outdoor.

by mic g.

i went in here blind and i got bitch slapped.i don't mind pirate costumes and bar maid wench dress either, but when the food stinks (i ordered jerk chicken and got a slab of frozen breast with salad dressing) and the staff is suspect, well............   perhaps it it time to look at your business model.i don't even know if kids would like this place.if you like jerry springer - than this is your place.

by Patrick H.

I'm not quite sure what to make of this place.  On one level, I was impressed with the ultra campy decor and the costumed staff.  I get the feeling that many of the staff are actually ex facto Renaissance Festival employees who have found steady work.  Like many others who have yelped here before me , the food is surprising.  Surprising that it doesn't absolutely suck.  With that said, I also wouldn't say it was spectacular either. We went on an office outing and started with a few apps.  Piri Piri Chicken (an African dish) was really chunks of overcooked chicken breast in buffalo wing sauce.  The Thai mussels were good and the coconut shrimp was passable.  I had the Jamaican Jerk Pork.  There was nothing remotely Jamaican about it and quite dry.  Two colleagues had the Filet on a hot stone, which looked decent.  Indeed a nice cut of tenderloin is brought to you on a 450 degree stone to finish cooking.  Also ordered were the Turkey legs (a la Renaissance Festival).  Decent.  Desserts are dreadful.  Don't do it. They committed two CARDINAL SINS.     1.   Deliver French fries but never bring ketchup, no matter how  many times you ask.       2.   Instant Mashed potatoes.  There is simply no excuse for this. We had a good time with our server, but we clearly on her schedule and not the other way around.  The place was packed the night we went, mostly with groups doing some sort of celebrating.  The wandering minstrels were entertaining, (including a dead-ringer for Captain Jack Sparrow... even the walk and voice) so if you're in the mood to Pirate it up a bit, arrrrrr,  and you plan to eat later, this may be a good place for cocktails.I'm not quite sure what to make of this place.  On one level, I was impressed with the ultra campy decor and the costumed staff.  I get the feeling that many of the staff are actually ex facto Renaissance Festival employees who have found steady work.  Like many others who have yelped here before me , the food is surprising.  Surprising that it doesn't absolutely suck.  With that said, I also wouldn't say it was spectacular either. We went on an office outing and started with a few apps.  Piri Piri Chicken (an African dish) was really chunks of overcooked chicken breast in buffalo wing sauce.  The Thai mussels were good and the coconut shrimp was passable.  I had the Jamaican Jerk Pork.  There was nothing remotely Jamaican about it and quite dry.  Two colleagues had the Filet on a hot stone, which looked decent.  Indeed a nice cut of tenderloin is brought to you on a 450 degree stone to finish cooking.  Also ordered were the Turkey legs (a la Renaissance Festival).  Decent.  Desserts are dreadful.  Don't do it. They committed two CARDINAL SINS.     1.   Deliver French fries but never bring ketchup, no matter how  many times you ask.       2.   Instant Mashed potatoes.  There is simply no excuse for this. We had a good time with our server, but we clearly on her schedule and not the other way around.  The place was packed the night we went, mostly with groups doing some sort of celebrating.  The wandering minstrels were entertaining, (including a dead-ringer for Captain Jack Sparrow... even the walk and voice) so if you're in the mood to Pirate it up a bit, arrrrrr,  and you plan to eat later, this may be a good place for cocktails.

by Becky T.

How can anyone resist going to a place called "Piratz Tavern".  I mean, c'mon, pirates but with a "z"!  After months of driving by this place, my buddies and I finally decided to take a look-see at what this place was all about.  We imagined it to be full of burly looking men drinking straight rum and whiskey, maybe see an eye patch or two.Umm, not so much.  I walked into the place and I immediately had flashbacks to Disneyland where I used to work.  I know the pirate theme can't be very authentic and all, but everything was very artificial and just, un-piratelike in its cleanliness.  Don't know about how their food is because kitchen was closed when we got there, but they did have a nice outside seating area.We were there at midnight on a Saturday and there were only a few patrons, and none were very pirate-like disappointingly.  Most were having bottled drinks, which should have been a sign, but my friends were determined to order some grog.  The bartender warned us, "it's some strong sh*t".  We ordered anyways, and the first sip burned through our digestive tract with the alcohol fumes coming out of nose.  It tasted like they collected everyone's leftover drinks and just mixed it all in some jug.  Every sip there was a different taste.  Sometimes citrusy, sometimes pepperminty, none good.  I thought I was going to be blind.  Even my alcoholic friends couldn't manage to drink their whole grog down. Or maybe we're just too lame to handle pirate grog.Update:  Was back on a Friday night and it was a lot more happening.  There's a pirate group that goes around singing around 9 and then after 10pm there were some pirate bellydancers who will shake it for some dollars.  We had a large group of people that was quite rowdy but that's all part of the pirate fun and the staff (yay One-Eye Mike) were friendly and joined in.  We had some Royal Navy newly graduated docs with us who led us (and some of the surrounding tables) into rounds of raunchy songs.  Gotta love the Brits!  I stayed away from the grog but some of friends claimed that the "top shelf grog" (doesn't that defeat the purpose of grog?) was much more palatable.  I stuck with some pitchers of red sangria which were stingy in the fruit (poor dices of apple) but was good and did what it was supposed to.   Drinks+pirates+Royal Navy=win!

by Gayle G.

Like Rob M. my hubby and I went here and received iffy service. So, pardon the pun-- but Piratz still needs to get its sea legs.I am all about things pirate (arrrgh!) so we soldiered through. Let me explain the layout. You walk in, and see a hostess station. There is a basket of "toys" such as skull rings and eye patches. Totally child size though. I wanna ring, dammit.After the hostess station, there is a kid's area/play area with pirate books and a television. Odd.The decor was expected- nautical and pirate themed stuff on the walls. One wall is made of cork and that's the one we sat closest to so I kept touching it. Mmm. Corky. Now, about the service. It took forever. Like, for-ev-er for a server to acknowledge us and come to our table to take our order. I got the sweet corn soup (after waiting at least 20 minutes for our food, and that's after the 20 minutes we waited for the waiter) and the turkey leg entree. Food was good, but not sure if it was worth the wait.

by Paul M.

Soccerballgirl loved this place and now she wants Captain Jack Sparrow to come to her sixth birthday party . But if he can't make it our marvellous server Poppet - will do instead.An absolutely brilliant night out with the kids - although Thing 1 and Thing 2 got a bit embarrassed after their grogged-up Dad started yelling " Ahoy me maties"  at everyone.The food is just OK - but the drinks are spectacular, and the happy hour specials amazing. But you come here for the staff.  The wait staff are all dressed up , they have a historian who tells you all sorts of pirate stories, and then a band who sing sea shanties for tips. They amp up the volume for Halloween. If you have a rowdy group, a bunch of kids, or want to stretch your wallet, I would totally recommend this place.

by Brian K.

As we get ready to move back to the Sprung, I've been thinking about the places I'm excited to have back within walking distance.Piratz Tavern does not make this list.  Ugh.  Honestly, the food is embarrassingly bad.  And overpriced.  Bad food should never be spendy.  It's in the Constitution...or at least it should be.  IMHO, the only two worthwhile things on the menu are the flaming chorizo (fire makes everything better), and the port-soaked pears (because if fire can't make it better, booze certainly will).  Everything else sucks.  My last meal there was so bad that I couldn't finish it.  If there's one reason why you should go to this place, it's the grog.  Go during happy hour - grog is 1/2 price, even on weekends.  You can essentially get a pint glass of pure liquor for $5.  Watch out, though...it's lethal.  I accidentally blacked out on grog the last time I was there.  True story.  When I woke up, I discovered that I tried to do laundry but passed out on the floor instead.  I have no recollection of this.